Confused Flowers and Brokenness

I’m in a bit of a slump. I’m not sure why or how I found myself here. I think I am simply tired and exhausted on so many levels.

Yesterday, it snowed in my neck of the woods. The spring flowers are confused after the unseasonably warm February days. As I looked at my neighbor’s slumped over yellow flowers blanketed by snow, I thought, that’s just about how I feel.

Broken. Defeated. Tired. Confused.

Like the flowers pushing forth and attempting to spread some sunshiney joy and then unexpectedly set back by a little snow… It feels a bit like, well, life. Things are going well, life happens, and then you feel defeated, discouraged, drained.

A passage from Psalms flashed through my mind as I snapped the picture of the flowers.

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. Psalm 51:17

And, just like that standing there shivering in my driveway looking at my neighbor’s pathetic flowers​, I was reminded that God welcomes our brokenness.

Perfectionism is not my purpose.
Sigh. How often I forget this and try to aim for something I can never attain. 

No wonder I am tired.

God honors our broken spirit. I find that a lot of the time, I overthink, I work too hard, I push myself too much.

The answer isn’t working harder. It is trusting God more. Listening. Accepting that I can only do so much in a day. It is learning to be okay with knowing that I will never make everyone happy. 

I try to pray during my commute into work. I pray that God will help me through whatever comes my way. He already knows what I will face. My response to it is my choice. 

My current situation? The slump I am in? I think I am tired. Life is filled with pressures and expectations. Sometimes, a snow storm can beat down the flowers, but that isn’t the end of the story or the end of my story.

God is working. We don’t see the details, but He is paving the way. 
But forget all that-it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?  I will make a path through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19

God honors your broken spirit. There’s always hope for the spring.

And the World Slowed Down…AKA…a Snowy Day

It’s Sunday. It’s snowing. The world around me is a blanket of crisp white beauty. I hear snowblowers and the hum of my furnace. I will be getting ready for church soon only because we live in town, and our church is in town. Our message last night from church was a “to attend church at your own discretion” message. So, we will be heading out soon.

I love a snowstorm on a day when I don’t have to head out anywhere. I don’t particularly enjoy the day before a storm. In Northwest Ohio, an impending snow storm means 45 minute long lines at the grocery store. Yes, crazy, I know. It’s as though people seriously think they may be cooped up for days on end. It’s as though every person in town is suddenly out of eggs, milk, bread, and toilet paper. Yes, the world stops for a day, maybe two depending on how much snow and wind, but really….

So, even though I do not really like snow blasts because I work in healthcare and there are no snow cancellations, and tomorrow morning, I will make the long commute into work, I do see beauty in it. I find it amazing that no single snow flake is the same. That never ceases to amaze me.

I love Sundays. Even this snowy Sunday. Even though as I sit here, I feel bloated from last night’s dinner of gluten-free chicken fajita pizza (it was the cheese, not something I normally eat).

I love that it is Sunday.

The snow continues to fall in its beauty. And the world will slow down a bit today.

snow