Maybe it’s the rainy day. Or maybe it’s because I am tired and haven’t been sleeping well.
Or maybe sometimes, grace isn’t so easy.
I am writing, reflecting on grace, but here I am right now in this moment finding myself wondering…why is this so hard?
Why is it so hard for me to accept the gift of grace from others? And even more so, why is it so hard for me to extend grace to myself?
I am quiet tonight. Reflective.
Unexpected grace extended to me when really I wasn’t expecting it. It would have been easier for me to hear…you messed up, you made a mistake, how could you not….you get the idea.
It is so much more difficult for me to receive grace from others than it is for me to extend it.
And extending it to myself? Even more difficult.
It is easy to slip back into the performance perfection based expectations I hold of myself.
This often seems to happen to me as I am in the midst of something bigger than myself.
This morning, I read this: “Here is the great irony about opportunities. They usually come disguised as insurmountable problems.” Mark Batterson, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day.
And maybe, just maybe, that’s exactly the place to find grace. Even if it isn’t so easy.
Do you find it hard to accept grace?