Ever had that moment when you knew God was speaking to you…and you didn’t know what it meant?
On Saturday night, I felt strongly led to read my Bible before bed, and I felt strongly led to read the book of Obadiah. Obadiah is a short, one chapter book of the Old Testament. As I read the brief introduction it shared how Obadiah was a prophet but his book in the Old Testament was not filled with happy news. There was no good and bad news, only bad news. I remember thinking…Okay, God, whatever You desire for me to learn from this book, please open my heart.
It didn’t take long…the third verse: The pride of your heart has deceived you.
The pride of your heart has deceived you….Obadiah 1:3
I finished reading the rest of the short book of Obadiah, and then I wrestled with these words as I tried to fall asleep. I woke up still wrestling with what these words meant to me. I wrestled with them as I went to church. We talked about pride in Sunday School, how pride can manifest itself in many different ways in each of us. We talked in terms of how difficult it can be for us to accept the help of others because our pride gets in the way.
It became clear to me…pride and fear are so closely related. Pride is all about self. Fear is about protecting self. Both push others away. The pride of my heart has deceived me…the self protection of my own self sufficieny, of not wanting to reach out to others for help, of wanting to cocoon within my own self preservation and figure things out on my own.
The pride of your heart (my heart) has deceived you (me).
My husband and I will be stepping into unknown territory very soon…a future with unknowns as he prepares to lose his job the beginning of February. This rocks our world financially, our sense of security pulled out from under us, the comfortableness of the normal, everyday routine, the expected….gone.
God is asking me to lean deeper on Him, lean deeper on my husband…faith over fear. He is asking that the pride of self sufficiency melt away into trust for Him, trust in my husband’s decision as he seeks the Lord’s leading in his life.
My friend reminds me often that the Lord disciplines those He loves. Well, Sunday I was feeling very disciplined through this conviction. Once I ackowledged the pride for what it was and the basis for my fear, I began to feel freer. I journalled and poured my heart out to God.
It’s a new year full of new beginnings and new opportunities. My husband’s word for the year is opportunity. So, with God’s guidance, I will choose faith over fear.
I encourage you…whatever you may be walking through today or tomorrow…choose faith over fear and trust the One who sees the bigger picture of your life.